The First Doctor's Appointment

That 1st doctor's appointment is the worst after that it is all pretty easy. You have had the biopsies, the blood tests, the cat scans, pet scans and x-rays and god knows what else and now you have come for the verdict! Have you been a good boy/girl? What you want to hear is you have the flu, a bad strain this year, take some aspirin and get some rest. We want that so bad and never get it, never. It is always some kind of cancer crap and you are here to discuss your options and possible treatments. I think I mentioned that my dad died of cancer, well he died of pneumonia, that "friend" to anyone who went through what he did. This was twenty years ago and they were really practitioners in those days, although they still haven't gotten it right and are continuing to practice. He was tortured to death and did it all, chemo and radiation and surgery. You don't get the opportunity to die another way, you choose as you go along and he made desperate choices.

I remember telling all this to my doctor and that I would be willing to try ONE method, so make it his best shot. I was not willing to discover a thousand ways to die.

So, I got even more tests! They wanted to know if my heart could take it and I assured them it had been broken before! and if my lungs were strong enough! The Chemo "cure" causes cancer!!! I so longed for ground up leaves and voodoo dolls, massage oils and midnight chanting around a big fire and naked girls chasing the evil spirits away! Instead, because I don't think these doctors drink, I got god-awful chemicals made from left over Mustard Gas from World War I and because I developed a blood clot, they gave me Rat Poison! What kind of weird surrealistic world did I get myself into? These were not the dreams of my choosing and like Dante, I found myself in the fires of Hell with reoccurring nightmares of getting sicker and sicker! My doctors were trying to kill me!