To have had cancer and survived gives you both a sense of vulnerability and a sense of being indestructable! I don't think you can get much closer to the edge without falling off and I am left with a feeling of "that didn't get me!" There have been other times in my life that my number should have been called but wasn't and this all makes me realize how incredibly lucky I am.
I once stumbled and fell into an electrical panel putting my arm out to protect my fall. This was an open 220 volts on a 200 amp line and that really should have done it, at least it should have taken my arm off to my shoulder. It did throw me 20 feet across the room but otherwise left me unscathed! About ten years ago I was helping a friend put a roof on a Church steeple and my footing slipped and down I went, about a 20 foot fall onto the concrete sidewalk! I looked like a side of beef beaten with a baseball bat, but thirty minutes later went to lunch! I never should have walked away from that one! There were others and probably some I am not aware of,
two seconds earlier or later can make all the difference. These were all "instant" close encounters and cancer gives you plenty of time to think about it, knowing every day you are approaching that edge! It really makes you think that you have been extremely lucky and maybe I shouldn't be pressing my luck?