Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Hands

Sometimes my hands hurt worse than other times.  They always hurt when I think about them, sort of like giving them that power to hurt.  Today I awoke at 2AM and they were throbbing as if having spent a couple hours in a cement mixer.  I can move my fingers but I can't make a fist, touching anything is like being electrocuted, but first you would have to stir a bucket full of cut glass and add salt, then you would get the idea.  If I didn't have my rabbit fur lined gloves I think I would cry.  I will order two more pairs today! They are dress gloves really and not designed to be worn 20 hours a day as I do.  I wear them for welding and just about everything.  They are soft and gentle and just prevent the over sensation on my hands.  Sometimes I feel like just sitting, holding my hands in my lap and just doing nothing.  I have tried this technique and it doesn't work for me.  In fact it is about the worst thing I can do.  When I concentrate on the pain, well, that is what I get.
     What works for me is movement, like a basketball player continuing to play while injured.  I will get up, take a bath as hot as I can stand it and go out to my studio and get lost in a project.  Soon enough my focus is on that and I will forget about my hands entirely.  It is a strange thing about my shop and work.  When at my sickest I went eight months without working.  I couldn't do it and the phone wasn't ringing anyway.  Now that I am getting stronger the phone is ringing and I have plenty of work, doing three jobs at the same time.
I am sure there is some kind of mystery there.
This is what chemo does to fingernails! 
My Other Blog is Here.


  1. I cannot even imagine hand pain like you have, but I do know lesser pain in hands, although to me it isn't lesser pain, and if I slack on taking my calcium tabs, my hands let me know big time. I cannot explain it, but I think we control a lot of our life by what we think and feel. I think the jobs come when we are ready to let them back into our life.

  2. Does that ever wear off after? I really hope it will. Your hands are so important in what you do.

  3. Jerry, I wish I could make them better. I can only send you my good gypsy vibes. Just a strong hope and wish that they get better.