I feel as if I have been kicked out of this club, somehow lost my membership. I no longer have cancer. It is a dream, a lost lover, an ending to an abusive relationship. I survived and am somehow watching it all from the sidelines. I can't even believe what I have been through. How did I allow her to be such a bitch to me? Was there any good to it or was it a year of being beaten every single day? I feel as though I got out of it in the middle of the night with my suitcase in hand, taking the first bus to I don't care where. Anywhere but there. This blog is my diary and my right to an honorary membership at least. I have been there, done that. I will never forget it. It becomes scar tissue from an old wound and is now a part of me. I am branded.
I am in the new club now: cancer survivors. I am having trouble walking away from the old club. We knew things that you will never know. It is a secret exclusive society. I have paid my dues.
I can fly higher now than ever before. Closer to the sun, I know I won't melt. I will get dirtier now than ever before and enjoy the mud of the Earth between my toes. I know what is important and necessary. My Other Blog is HERE.