How does that expression go? Not as good as I once was but as good as I was once? That is me, had my check-up today and short of taking apart my atoms in a MRI I am still "Cancer-Free". I am pretty sure the doctor only knows this because that is what I tell him; it was not as though my cancer was warn on my sleeves,
pretty much all invisible inside stuff. I have no symptoms, no swollen lymph glands and most of the chemo symptoms are gone too, except my forever, it seems neuropathy in my hands! My price of survival and small one at that. I keep a photo of me above my desk, taken a couple years ago at my worst. The cancer never did that to me, it was all in the cure, a beast at best.
I really can do almost anything now, anything from my younger, stronger days, just in shorter bursts but that can be good too! I tilled my garden, normally a four hour job that took me two days and I just finished spreading a yard of mulch along the paths to designate walkways. It will take another yard but that can wait until tomorrow. Time seems to move in increments now like a watch that stops then jiggles ahead to catch up.
I have discovered that it will wait, all of that capturing and saving time was a lie. There is no hurry. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and so much that used to be important and cause me to rush just isn't there any more.
Not that I could hurry, I am just learning to relax.
I think that for Cancer People (we are NOT victims!) and maybe all retired people, someone should offer a class in "how to do nothing", there is a certain art in accomplishing nothing. I am still amazed at how the day disappears and I didn't even get to make a "to do list"! I am learning to not do that too.
So my next check up isn't until September and I think my doctor and I chose that date because I could bring him some dried tomatoes! YES! It is going to be a good tomato season this year!
pretty much all invisible inside stuff. I have no symptoms, no swollen lymph glands and most of the chemo symptoms are gone too, except my forever, it seems neuropathy in my hands! My price of survival and small one at that. I keep a photo of me above my desk, taken a couple years ago at my worst. The cancer never did that to me, it was all in the cure, a beast at best.
I really can do almost anything now, anything from my younger, stronger days, just in shorter bursts but that can be good too! I tilled my garden, normally a four hour job that took me two days and I just finished spreading a yard of mulch along the paths to designate walkways. It will take another yard but that can wait until tomorrow. Time seems to move in increments now like a watch that stops then jiggles ahead to catch up.
I have discovered that it will wait, all of that capturing and saving time was a lie. There is no hurry. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and so much that used to be important and cause me to rush just isn't there any more.
Not that I could hurry, I am just learning to relax.
I think that for Cancer People (we are NOT victims!) and maybe all retired people, someone should offer a class in "how to do nothing", there is a certain art in accomplishing nothing. I am still amazed at how the day disappears and I didn't even get to make a "to do list"! I am learning to not do that too.
So my next check up isn't until September and I think my doctor and I chose that date because I could bring him some dried tomatoes! YES! It is going to be a good tomato season this year!
